Hokay, so, here�s the Earth. It�s chilling.

�Daymn, that is a sweet Earth,� you might say. Round!

Alright, ruling out the ice caps melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the ozone layer leaving, and the sun exploding, we are definitely going to blow ourselves up.

Hokay, so basically we�ve got China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan, Russia, the UK, and us...with nukes. We�ve got about twenty-six hundred more than anybody else. Whatever.

Anyway, one day we decides those Chinese sons of a bitches are going down. So, we launch a nuke at China. While it�s on its way, China�s like, �Shit shit! Who the fuck is shooting us?�

�Oh well, fire missiles!�

Then France is like, �Shit, guys, we�ve got ze missiles, they are coming�fire our shit!�

�But I�m le tired...�

�Well, have a nap, then fire ze missiles!�

Meanwhile, Australia is down there like, �WTF, mates?�

India, Israel, and Pakistan launch their shit, so now we got missiles flying everywhere, passing each other.

Russia�s like �AH, MOTHERLAND!�

Then England�s like, �Bout that time, eh, chaps?�

�Righto.�

So now the US is like, �Fuck, we�re dumbasses.�

Canada�s like, �What�s going on, eh?�

Australia�s still like, �WTF?�

Mars is laughing at us, and some huge meteor�s like, �Well fuck that.�

So, now we have nuclear winter. Everyone�s dead �cept Australia, and they�re still like, �WTF?� But they�ll be dead soon. Fucking kangaroos.

But, assuming we don�t blow ourselves up, us Californians just have to worry about California breaking off from the United States. To go hang with Hawaii. Alaska can come, too.

The end!

before - after