************************************** I sat down nervously on my bed, thoughts spiraling through my brain at a mile a minute, my hands shaking, and my feet uncontrollably fidgeting. The letter was still downstairs on the desk in my father�s office. What was it? Who wrote it? What did all of this mean? I was so curious, and yet�it seemed there was something holding me back. Something internal. The two sides of my brain were arguing�one side telling my body to go and open it, and the other side, holding my body back. Suddenly, I jolted up from my bed and stood at the doorway to my room. My hands pushed the molding on either side of the doorframe out of frustration. Finally, the right side won and I scurried down the stairs and back into the office.

I stared for a moment at the letter, sitting on the edge of the desk, tempting me. The scent drifted toward my nose and I inhaled. It was like a dream; the scent danced in red swirls in front of me, drawing me in closer and closer toward the letter. I could hear the music in my head: slow, sensual, hypnotic. I was in a trance, and the arguing in my brain subsided, for my body was now beyond my brain�s control. I walked toward the desk, and each step was directed by the letter�s power over me.

I lifted the letter, my eyes widening as I drew it closer to my body. The silver glint of the letter opener caught my eye and my arm floated over, grasped the handle, and lifted it off the desk and toward my letter. Yes, this was my letter. It was as though this thought had just occurred to me. This was my own, personal letter, addressed to me.

Looking first to my left, then to my right, I cautiously began to slice into the deep red paper. Back and forth with the blade, I sliced through the top of the envelope until it was completely open. I peered in, and there was a warm, golden light emanating from the envelope. It was a soft light, not harsh or blinding at all, and it seemed to sprinkle gold flecks all over my body. My arms were dusted with golden light, and the surface of my skin was warmed. I was so distracted by the golden luminescence that enveloped my body that I didn�t see the tiny edge of emerald green paper creeping through the light.

This is it, I thought�

before - after